I feel completely clueless as a parent. Sometimes I feel clueless about other things too, of course, but mostly about being a parent. One moment Mikayla is sweet and loving and obedient and right when I think that maybe I can do this gig after all, she’s pulling her clothes off in the store, kicking her shoes off, screaming for Elmo and trying to climb out of the buggy.
Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m the only parent who feels this way.
I doubt it.
Maybe this is one of God’s many ways of reminding us that even as adults we are far from self-sufficient, far from knowing it all. We still need to learn and grow. We still need help. We still need guidance. We as fully grown, decision-making, checkbook-balancing, responsible people are still confused and baffled and challenged by these 3-foot tall bundles of nonstop energy.
These past few days we’ve been potty training. The other day Mikayla did exceptionally well – went to the potty on her own, no accidents – it was very impressive as potty-ing goes. About halfway through the day I literally thought, “I am so good at being a mom! I should probably get an award.” Ok, I may not have thought that exactly, but it was something along those lines. Not 20 seconds later, Mikayla was screaming, in my face, to watch an elephant movie. At which point I thought, “What is happening?!?!? I am a horrible mother.”
I definitely have a long way to go before becoming a parenting expert.
If you ever feel inadequate or unqualified for the parenting role, just know you’re not alone. I probably feel that way 47 times a day. I try to do what I think is best in each situation and try to apologize for the times I screw up. All while praying that God intervenes where I am weak and that He will somehow make something good out of my mistakes and cluelessness.
Then I pray for her future therapist… I’m kidding, just kidding… mostly.
Do you ever feel clueless about being a parent? How do you deal with it?