I Can’t Wait

I’m already making a list of all the things I can’t wait to do once the marathon is over. By the way, it’s over in 4 days. Between now and Saturday at around 2:00 pm I’m going to spend my time freaking out and drinking lots and lots and lots of water. But, on Saturday, it ends – one way or another, it will all be over.

The past nine months have felt consumed with marathon training. Even during those weeks when I cheated and didn’t exactly stick to the four-days-a-week running plan I FELT consumed. The nagging fear and hatred that I feel toward running has been a constant weight, hanging over everything. Every night out, every dessert eaten, every Saturday plan – scheduled around running.

After Saturday…FREEDOM!!!!! No more running – at least not to the level of insanity that we’ve been running and definitely not at 6:00 am on Saturday mornings. So, here are some of the things I plan to do with my new freedom from running:

1. Christmas shopping. I’m starting to panic a bit about this one. I’m usually pretty close to finished with my Christmas shopping by this time, if not completely. This year? I haven’t even started a list. I’ll be starting basically from scratch the week before Thanksgiving. Don’t panic, don’t panic. You can only panic about one thing at a time and for the next four days it’s running.

2. Breaking the paci habit. This one makes me nervous, but it’s time. When Mikayla turned one we took the paci away for like an hour. Then she got a cold or something and we gave it right back to her. When she turned two we were already marathon training and I just didn’t have the energy or motivation. We did take it away during the day – she only has her paci for sleeping. But, starting very soon, no more paci. She will be quite upset and I will be very tired. Sleepless nights are in my future.

3. Eat less. I know this is a dumb goal two weeks before Thanksgiving, but it must be so. I’ve taken full advantage of all the extra calories I’m burning by eating everything in sight. Since I’ve sworn to never run again, I have to eat accordingly. If I keep eating like I am now without running I’ll have to buy a whole new wardrobe before Thanksgiving even gets here.

4. Christmas tea. Every year from Thanksgiving to New Years I make Christmas Tea. It’s a tradition and recipe passed down from my mom and one that I soooo look forward to every year. It’s not really a tea, it’s more of a spice/citrus/sugar mixture that you drink hot. Every morning I pour some into the coffee pot so it slowly warms while I get ready for the day then I pour it into a spill-proof mug (well, because it’s me, you know, I spill stuff) and take it with me in the car or wherever I go. Christmas Tea is not usually made until Thanksgiving day, but this year, I’m making early. I’m making it Saturday – or as soon as I can move again after running this stinking race. (And, no, this does not contradict in any way goal #3.)

There are a few more, a few I’m not ready to share just yet. The past couple weeks have been a time of questioning and contemplation. I’ve realized there are some things that I need to share – parts of my story that aren’t about me – parts that other people may need to hear – parts that I can’t keep hidden even though sharing them is risky. So…more to come.

For now, assuming I live through Saturday, I’m looking forward to drinking Christmas tea while Christmas shopping because I’ll need the caffeine to keep me awake since I won’t be sleeping or eating chocolate. But, what I will NOT be doing? I will not be running. Ahhhhhh!

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